Post by Ceci on Apr 7, 2007 18:25:37 GMT -5
Coming from posting on other boards, I think it is helpful to address some ettiquette that we all need when discussing the vital issues of the day. Being a veteran poster, I know that I am not immune from being a little "terse" sometimes in my posts. And from having the experience of reading the work of others, sometimes events come about that are rather contentious at best.
At one time, I was accused of "lacking communication skills".
So, before I got back into the posting arena, I decided to research different ways people can address one another.
I found a very helpful book on this accord: People Skills by Robert Bolton. An excerpt will be posted below as a gentle and helpful rule of thumb for old and new alike. This is a list of "communication enders" that is important for everyone to read:
Keep these in mind as you go about your posting duties. We want to have a good time here for everyone.
At one time, I was accused of "lacking communication skills".
So, before I got back into the posting arena, I decided to research different ways people can address one another.
I found a very helpful book on this accord: People Skills by Robert Bolton. An excerpt will be posted below as a gentle and helpful rule of thumb for old and new alike. This is a list of "communication enders" that is important for everyone to read:
1)criticizing: Making a negative evaluation of the other person, her actions, or attitudes.
2)Name-calling:"Putting down" or stereotyping the other person.
3)Diagnosing: Analyzing why a person is behaving as she is, playing amateur analyst.
4)Praising Evaluatively: Making a positive judgement of the other person, her actions and attitudes.
5)Ordering: Commanding the other person to do what you want to have done.
6)Threatening: Trying to control the other's actions by warning of negative consequences that you will instigate.
7)Moralizing: Telling another person what she should do.
8)Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning: Closed-ended questions are often barriers to a relationship; these are those that can be usually answered in a few words--often a simple yes or no.
9)Advising: Giving the other person a solution to her problems.
10)Diverting: Pushing the other's problems aside through distraction.
11)Logical argument: Attempting to convince the other with an appeal to facts or logic, without consideration of the emotional factors involved.
12)Reassuring: Trying to stop the other person from feeling the negative emotions she is experiencing.
--From Bolton, Robert. People Skills. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc., 1979: 15-16.
2)Name-calling:"Putting down" or stereotyping the other person.
3)Diagnosing: Analyzing why a person is behaving as she is, playing amateur analyst.
4)Praising Evaluatively: Making a positive judgement of the other person, her actions and attitudes.
5)Ordering: Commanding the other person to do what you want to have done.
6)Threatening: Trying to control the other's actions by warning of negative consequences that you will instigate.
7)Moralizing: Telling another person what she should do.
8)Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning: Closed-ended questions are often barriers to a relationship; these are those that can be usually answered in a few words--often a simple yes or no.
9)Advising: Giving the other person a solution to her problems.
10)Diverting: Pushing the other's problems aside through distraction.
11)Logical argument: Attempting to convince the other with an appeal to facts or logic, without consideration of the emotional factors involved.
12)Reassuring: Trying to stop the other person from feeling the negative emotions she is experiencing.
--From Bolton, Robert. People Skills. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc., 1979: 15-16.
Keep these in mind as you go about your posting duties. We want to have a good time here for everyone.